Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Things I'm Afraid to Tell You

So first off, I have to say BRAVO! to every single blogger who has participated in this movement, and am so happy and grateful for Jess and for Ez for giving us bloggers a chance to see that we are not alone. I have only had the chance to read through some Things I'm Afraid to Tell You posts (can't wait to read them all once I am out of school!), and I was so shocked to see women I admire so much, have the same thoughts and feelings as I do. Such an amazing sight to see. I of course had to jump on the band wagon, so here are my Things I'm Afraid to Tell You.  
Warning: It's about to get personal.


1) I almost never buy what is on my Wednesday Wishlist posts. Just because I post all of these pretty things that I want, doesn't mean I actually ever buy them. See #2.

2) I am completely broke. Which is why I cannot buy what is on my Wednesday Wishlists. I am a full-time college student, and I work at the hospital only two days a week. Obviously, not enough pay to afford my taste. Most often, I have less than $100 in the bank. I envy other fashion bloggers who can actually afford a pair of Current Elliott Jeans or an Equipment blouse. I would need to save up 2-3 pay checks to afford one of them.

3) I am utterly exhausted 85% of the time. I really think I have something wrong with me. Like, medically. I am tired almost all of the time. It is very rare for me to have loads of energy all day long. That is why me and coffee are BFFs. But really, coffee doesn't even really do anything for me. I also tend to get really overwhelmed. I look at other people who do WAY more then me and wonder why I cannot have their energy. If I do not get at least 8 hours of sleep each night, I will get sick and won't be able to function. So, when there are days when I have no blog post, this is why. See #4.

4) Sometimes I wonder if blogging is really worth my health and sleep. As all of us bloggers know, running a successful blog is a full-time job. It isn't just creating a blog post, but also reading other blogger's posts, commenting on their posts, tweeting, instagramming, pinteresting, and trying our best to respond to emails. I think I have maybe over 4 months of emails that I have yet to respond to. Which gives me incredible anxiety. Some times I wonder if it is really worth it. I will be gone at work all day, have classes, meetings, and homework to do, that at the end of the night (which is usually 11:00pm) the last thing I want to do is create a blog post! I used to NEVER go a day during the week without doing a blog post. But, I have finally realized that my health and my sleep is more important. 

5) I have low self-esteem. Okay, so I have never shared this on the blog with you all, or really everyone for that matter, but here it goes. Growing up, I was always overweight. In middle school, I was constantly called the fat girl with "the pretty face". As you can imagine, this stuck with me. Before entering high school, I decided to lose weight, so by the end of my freshman year I had lost 60 lbs. This weight loss and new attention that I was receiving, caused me to spiral into a pretty gnarly eating disorder. My sophomore year I suffered from Anorexia, totaling in at 103 lbs. By my junior year, I developed Bulimia. With lots of counseling, and coming to Christ, I was able to overcome my eating disorder. But, to this day, it is a battle that I continuously fight and will fight probably for the rest of my life.

6) Materialism bothers me. Yeah, this seems pretty darn contradictory huh? Yeah, it is. My blog is a fashion blog in which I post about pretty things, 24/7. As you know, I love fashion, but it is definitely not my world. and certainly not all that I am. This verse says it all: The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever. ~ Isaiah 40:8

7) I can be incredibly lazy sometimes. This is one trait about myself, that I am not too fond of. For example, I will go a month without picking the clothes up off of my floor. Ugh, did I really just tell you this?

8) I envy other bloggers. I look at other bloggers who have - way more time than me to invest into their blogs, are skinnier than I am and look better in clothing, are incredibly successful, are able to afford a new outfit for every day of the week - and get jealous.

9) No comments make me depressed. As stated before, I haven't had as much of time as I used to to invest into my blog. I used to comment on over 50 blogs a day, and now I comment on maybe 2-3. I so wish that the day allowed more time! But sadly, it doesn't. I used to receive a lot more comments than I do now, and sometimes it really gets me down. I mean, it's frustrating when I sacrifice my sleep to stay up late creating a post, and I receive barely any comments. Now, please, don't get me wrong. I started blogging because of my love for it and being able to express my creativity, not just to receive praise. And by no means am I telling you all to start leaving me comments! Lol. I know I have talked to some other people about this too, and they seem to feel the same. So I think I am not alone with this - right?

10) I struggle with how much I should share on this blog. For example, this post. I may or may not regret writing this. We will see. On my blog, I try to keep it more professional and editorial like, but also incorporate some tidbits of my life. I figure I want this blog to be a place people come to to get inspired, not to get dragged down by my life happenings. But I don't know. It's a tough situation, because my favorite blogs are ones that share a lot about their lives. I love when people are real and I feel like I know them. I wonder if my readers feel like they know me? Do you?

Well ya'll, that wraps up my Things I'm Afraid to Tell You. There is definitely way more about me and my life that I could share, but I suppose I will leave that for another blogger movement :)

Here are the amazing bloggers who have participated...

Bloggers Who Participated in Wave No.2:

Cassie: Coco + Kelley / Christine: Court & Hudson / Caitlin: Sacramento Street / Roxy: My Cup of Te / Crystal: Blog / Meg: MIMI+MEG / Ashlina: The Decorista / Katie: Modern Eve / Erin: Apartment 34 / Erica: Design Blahg / Victoria: Vmac & Cheese / Christine: Miles to Style / Franki: Life in a Venti Cup  / Sue: The Zhush / Erika: Radiant Republic / Gabrielle: Savvy Home / Monika: The Doctor's Closet / Naomi: Design Manifest /Tobe: Because It's Awesome / Becca: {extra}ordinary wonders / Lynzy: Sparkling Footsteps / Hitha: Hitha On The Go / Sarah: Note To Self / Liz: So Much To Smile About / Sarah: Blogstar / Alissa: The Goods Design / Jessie: Style & Pepper / Erika: Small Shop Studio  / AV: Long Distance Loving / Maggie: Maggie Rose Blog / Nicole: The City Girl In Me / Priscilla: The Best Laid Plans / Jen: Concrete Jungle DC / Janelle: Food Fashion Fitness / Natalie: East Coast Chic

Bloggers Who Participated in Wave No.1:

Design for Mankind | Little Brown Pen | Beautiful Hello | Curating Style | Sweet Fine Day | The Jealous Curator | Happy Days | Sage & Berries | Really Handmade | Peck Life | Satsuma Press | Rena Tom | For the Easily Distracted | The Hemborg Wife | Vitamini Handmade | Courtney Khail Stationery and Design | Meg in Progress | Dando Photography Blog | Widdershins22 | Alison Citron | Pink Moon Daily | Just Pretty Things | From China Village | Tea with Me | The Darling Ewe | Not Your Average Ordinary | The Electric Typewriter | Elleby Design | Parsimonia {Secondhand With Style} | Life as an Artistpreneur | Hello Cupcake | Dellie | The A & B Stories | Pretty Little Things | Feistyelle | Nib & Zed | Well and Cheaply | I Ripple. I Dance. | Whitfield Awesome Blog | Foxtrot Press | Dry As Toast | The List of Now | Apple Blue | For the Love of | Four Flights of Fancy | Miss Modish | Snapshots & Secrets | Dirty Laundry | Bubby & Bean | Penelope's Press | Little Nostalgia | Vale Design | Pikaland | Fleurishing | Print Pretty | Vespa Tales | Hazel & Agnes | Amanda's Musings | Mo' Funk Designs | Ordinary Mommy | Camp 1899 | In Honor of Design | Liberty's Yarn | Love, Life & Pictures | Stacey Winters | Owl in the Rain | Living Life Creatively | Emma Elizabeth Clease | I Live in Vacouver Now | British Cream Tea


74 comments:

  1. I LOVE #6!! Such an amazing verse

    XO Katie Stuart
    http://www.allglammedupstyle.com/

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  2. Wow I love this! I can relate on the whole poor college student.. I always want to buy something new almost everyday. On #3 you might have an iron deficiency, but who knows I am not a doctor. My best friend had it and she was experiencing the same thing. I so want to do this tag now.

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  3. Oh-o! Exactly how i feel and am afraid to tell... So we bloggers do have similar kind of mind, don't we?

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  4. wow! way to be honest. this was brave of you and i applaud and envy you for it. i can identify with a lot of what you are saying, particularly #10 which is why i think you are so brave and also #9 to some extent. not having as many comments is a blessing and a curse for me b/c i try to visit the blogs of everyone who leaves me a comment. so when i don't get a lot comments it makes my life a little easier, but then i feel like is anyone reading? but i know they are :)

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  5. Lauren, Thank you for sharing all that you did. I think we pretty much had the same experience from middle school- on. I was "melon head" (kids are so mean). I struggled with eating disorders until college, and even though I have over come the physical damage, I mentally still struggle with my self esteem all the time. After reading quite a few of the "things i'm afraid to tell you" posts your's was one of the more honest ones, one that I could truly connect with. You are so strong - being a full time student and having a job (and blogging) is not easy. Keep it up.

    Lauren
    llovestoshare

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  6. I love your honesty, and I love your blog!

    Astrid.

    rueterral.blogspot.com

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  7. What a beautiful post. You say you want your blog to be inspiring and are worried this type of post will drag people down, but you had the strength and courage to overcome some tough stuff and there is nothing more inspiring than that! Proud of you. Also, about your fatigue, have you ever had your blood tested for iron deficiency? I have iron deficiency anemia (which is fairly common in young women). Once I found this out and started taking iron supplements, I found I was far less tired throughout the day! Hope this helps.
    xo
    Tiffany
    tiffanyleighinteriordesign.blogspot.com

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  8. I love you even more after reading this. SO real! You are so beautiful… It's funny, you're one of those bloggers that I look at and envy: your beauty and internship? Whoa. I feel like you have it all. I am so encouraged by your transparency here. Thank you so much for sharing. I posted my own "Things I'm Afraid To Tell You" last week, and we have some things in common :)

    http://www.anewfoundtreasure.com/2012/05/real-nitty-gritty.html

    I love you Lauren!!

    XOXO
    Anna

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  9. I can't even begin to tell you how refreshing this is! Bravo for having the guts to be so honest, relatable, and personal. I sometimes regret that I have shared so much personal info. on my blog about the divorce process, etc. You know what though? That is when I get the most heartfelt comments, my blog relationships blossomed into real friendships, and I received emails from readers saying that I have helped them by being honest about what I was going through. Thanks for sharing and opening up. xoxo

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  10. Thank you SO much for sharing this. I didn't know about these posts, but it is so comforting for us readers! I recognize a lot of these things in my self and I was especially happy that you mentioned point 3 (being exhausted all the time). I have this problem as well and I feel like a weirdo. People always ask me why I sleep so much. Can't help it.. I am so happy I am not the only one!!
    Thank you! I love your blog even more now!!

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  11. Been reading several of these posts over the past few days. It is refreshing! Thanks for sharing. I know a lot of those things were not easy to make public, but will have an effect on someone. I can relate to you, even though I am twice your age, on so many of these things.

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  12. Thanks so much for sharing, L. I love when my favorite bloggers include some personal touches on their blogs. This makes me feel like I know you! You're super brave in sharing this with the blogosphere & you're also not alone in any of it!

    xxM
    http://districtsparkle.blogspot.com/

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  13. I know how difficult it can be to open yourself up like this and these things make me love you & your blog even more! Your openness and honesty is so refreshing! And we all feel a lot of these things on a day-to-day basis.

    Chelsea
    www.hautechildinthecity.com

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  14. Love love love this post. I can relate with so much of it. And it makes you feel better to know that other people are quietly thinking and feeling the same things that you are. Especially when a lot of the weight of those things come from the fact that you think you're the only one feeling that way. It's refreshing to know that everyone is as insecure as I am and that everyone has to work hard at what's important to them.

    THANK YOU!

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  15. aww I LOVED reading every bit of this!! & I went through the same thing in middle school of being the "fat girl with the pretty face" .. not the best feeling. I really am so excited that I found your blog & can't wait to follow it :) PS: I think you're gorgeous<3

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  16. Thank you for sharing! I don't know if I'd be brave enough to do one of these posts on my own blog, but reading your things was somewhat of a relief. I adore your blog, and am surprised to read you have similar insecurities as me! I've even been thinking lately that "I don't have enough time/not good enough/not original enough/not rich enough to buy outfits to post on my blog" that I was considering shutting it down because it's not where I want it to be. After seeing how busy you are but you still have time to do posts is inspiring. I hope I can get over my own laziness (and fear of failing) to start regularly blogging again.

    Xo Lauren!

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  17. I love this - and I admire you for being so open & honest...a trait many do not have the strength for! You are beautiful inside and out (another thing many people do not have...typically it's one or the other), and that is definitely something to be p-r-o-u-d of! :) In regard to 3...I can totally relate, and might have an answer for you. Eating 'right.' I too, struggled with eating issues during my HS years (now long-gone), but in my college/post college years, felt exhausted, drowsy, never 'full of life,' until I started doing research and changed my eating habits. I would love to try to help you with this (in all seriousness), because it truly has helped me feel completely different - energized, full of life, and less pain (headaches, etc). I used to rely on coffee and Diet Coke, and now consider those 'indulgences.' Please let me know if you'd like my help or suggestions as to what has helped me!

    xo,
    Brooke

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  18. I really can relate Lauren! Blogging is a ton of work and it is hard when you don't get rewarded (ie. getting feedback) for it. Just focus on the positive! I'm sure your blog is a great creative outlet and has provided you lots of new opportunities and new friends!

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  19. Lauren, this is so touching, I seriously teared up reading this. You are such a beautiful person inside and out and you are so brave for sharing this with your readers! It's so easy to get caught up in blogging and become overly critical of yourself, especially when we look at so many blogs. I feel a lot of the same sentiments as you! How do other bloggers keep up with all of the social media (twitter, instagram, facebook, pinterest, pose, etc) on top of writing blog posts? I personally love bloggers who re-work their wardrobes and don't wear a new outfit for every single post. It's more real to me. I know that I certainly can't afford to shop everyday or every week for that matter. Regarding your fatigue, have you ever had your thyroid level checked? I too was always tired and it turned out that I had an issue w/my thyroid. I now feel great!

    Anyway, I loved that you shared this! I hope you're having a great week. x,Audrey

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  20. Aw Lauren, this is seriously one of the greatest one of these 'things i'm afraid to tell you' posts I've read, and thanks so much for being so candid. I can definitely relate to so many of the things you said, either now or at one point in the last few years of my life. And trust me, I know how tough it can be with school and money and all of that, but just remember that you're working hard now and learning good school and work and money habits for the future. It completely sucks being broke (seriously, I am so on board with that), but remember that it will just make you appreciate all of the nice things you're working toward when you finally get there. It's about the journey just as much as the destination.

    I don't comment every day, but I definitely read every day. And I definitely love looking at your Wednesday Wishlists, even though I can't afford so much of that either. Keep the good stuff coming!

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  21. Lauren,
    I have always (and still do) respect you so much, and think of you highly!
    This post actually started bringing tears to my eyes (not joking with you girl!)
    You are an empowering person! I can identify with at least half of the points on your list...and I know some of them were really difficult to just put out there for the world to see/read!
    I think you are so beautiful, talented, and confident...that's what you exuded when I met you in LA! I commend you for sharing this side of you with us! And I think it's a great way to start getting past some of the things that you may have been doubting or have been holding you back.
    Much love! and can't wait to see you :)

    <3Amanda
    feast.fashion.faves

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  22. Being real and HUMBLE is the most attractive gift one can posses...YOU are a child of GOD... no need to be jealous of no one or nothing.... Keep your balance of life...What you wrote I believe opened to the door to many hearts who now feel a sense of release that they TOO felt that way etc...... Write as you can, keep your focus on what God has for you...You are a diamond with many facets it is obvious, don't burn yourself out... BREATH.....May the GOD of all comfort, strength, hope and JOY fill you with his PEACE that nothing in this world can give!! You are awesome my lil Sista!!! Love you! <3<3<3

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    Replies
    1. This is PHYLLIS...BTW....Not sure how to put my name UP there...LOL LOL

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  23. Miss Lauren, I have thought you were fabulous and incredibly sweet since the moment I "met" you on your other blog...and this just makes me love you all the more! I have ALL the same struggles...time, energy, jealousy, balance...but I'm too chicken/prideful to ever admit it! Most of the time, I feel guilty about one thing or another...not enough time with the kids...not enough time with the blog...and on and on and on...I've cut back a TON on what I do with the blog with the same lag in comments and traffic )c: It sucks, but truly, I'm *happier*! Blogging is grand and I won't ever quit it, but it definitely has to take a back seat. Keep up the great work, girl, your blog is an inspiration and you are a lovely girl, inside and out!!! xoxo

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  24. omg...there's so much I relate to and even feel the same about with this post. THANK YOU so much for sharing your fears and of course for your honesty. I don't know what it is like for other bloggers out there and not because I don't want to know, but because there's so much not posted a majority of the time. I'm sure even for "big time bloggers" there's a lot more to what they do, but it's so reassuring to see similar fears and feelings from other people. Thank you, thank you...

    xo,
    nancy

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  25. Yours might be one of my favorites I have read so far. It's really crazy how much competition there is in the blogging world, and the stresses and pressures it puts on bloggers can be unhealthy. This was so refreshing to read - and hopefully you can find comfort knowing your followers fully support everything you do (even if you don't post every day - WAY too much to keep up with when you have school/a job!)

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  26. Thank you for sharing this post. I admire and understand exactly what you are going through. I personally understanding working and going to school and how tiring it can be sometimes. And I love the verse in #6. God Bless and good luck.

    Chauncey Nicole
    http://www.indulge-daily.com/

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  27. your "things I'm afraid to tell you" has been the most honest + refreshing of all of them. cheers to you for putting all of this out there. it's crazy how blogging can go from something meant to be fun and empowering to the complete opposite. you aren't alone in feeling self-doubt and insecure, but always remember you are an amazing and beautiful person! other people's lives aren't as dandy as they seem...... i'm back in school and can totally relate to so many things you've written here. thanks for being brave enough to share!

    http://itsthelittlethingsblog.blogspot.com/

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  28. This blog is definitely in my top 5, reading your fear of people not commenting I just had to say a little something because your blog is definitely worth it! Wishing you luck and an easy, stress free future, you obviously deserve it.

    Sophie

    http://britgirlitgirl.blogspot.co.uk/

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  29. Love this! Thanks for sharing about this series! Blogs can definitely give us a facade sometimes!

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  30. Wow...I can relate personally to a number of the items that you listed and as you have already read from many of the comments, others can too. You can see all the appreciation from your readers (including me) for the time and strength it took to share the personal insights into your life. I always remember what my dad has told me, "Put your health first". Very touching...thank you, doll!

    @Cathy_Showan
    http://cstyledesign.blogspot.com

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  31. Oh Lauren, good for you for writing and sharing this. You come across exactly as you are, I don't think of you as a material girl, and even though I blog about material things a lot there are not the most important thing in life, there are far more important things than those that we can get online!
    Thanks for sharing my friend!

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  32. Lauren, I didn't know you that well in high school but I really enjoy reading your blog. I just wanted to say that you aren't the only college student that feels overwhelmed, tired, wants to sleep all the time/falls asleep constantly, and is broke. I was actually so jealous of you because you have all these nice accessories and stuff from blogging! But I guess what I'm trying to say is, hey, it's okay to feel like that. I know lots of full-time college students that are in the same boat as us and I too am so jealous of people who don't drink caffeine and yet have so much energy to get through their day (filled with so much work). Anyways, keep up your wonderful blog, you have great style and are such a sweet person! :)

    P.S. I started reading blogs and am now addicted thanks to you. I even started my own blog. It has one post. haha.

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  33. I'm just now catching up on blogs...but girl, don't get down! You know I work in the hospital too, and when I work 12 hr shifts 3 days in a row, I DO NOT post...too hard! #7...me too. all the time! and your verse about materialism...perfect! I especially need a reminder! I think I may post this type of post myself soon too! Very inspiring! :)

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  34. OMG I envy other bloggers like crazy! Totally with you on that!

    katiesbliss.com

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  35. This was awesome, Lauren!!! Its refreshing to find someone who isn't scared to put themselves out there! I love your posts and look forward to reading them! Your blog is beautiful and so are you :)

    Xoxo
    Lyndsey

    @lyndseymarie127

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  36. you need to give yourself a hug...keep smiling!x

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  37. I've read several of these now, but yours is the one that inspired me to comment. Perhaps because I can so well relate with nearly every one of your confessions. I just wanted to let you know that this post made me love you and your blog even more so I would hate if you stopped blogging. That being said, don't forget to give you your "me" time. If you ever need a break, your followers will always be here waiting for you. I appreciated you sharing because I struggle with many of the issues you shared. It really does help not knowing you're alone as, when we go through our trying times, it feels so isolating. I recently posted a confessional blog that gave me serious anxiety so I commend your bravery to post this. I firmly believe it was the right decision.

    xx
    Kecia

    http://www.couturezooblog.com/

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  38. aww girlie, this was a great post! We all have insecurities. I abosolutely love your blog and I think it is very evident that you put a lot of effort and time into it! It is TOTALLY fine to take a break sometimes and cut yourself some slack, the most important thing in your life should be you! :) I know what you mean about jealousy of other bloggers but NO ONE's life is perfect! Material things only matter so much and the most important thing is family, love and god :) keep up the great blogging work hun!
    xoxo
    Pam

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  39. Lauren, you sound like a 100% completely normal, wonderful young woman experiencing life and the emotions that accompany it. I know your post describes thoughts, emotions and life events that resonate with all young women (I hear each and every one of your laments from young people every day) and I think it is great that you are sharing these "secrets" openly. I'm sure you have made many young people feel that much more connected. Your blog is great and you should be very proud of this and all of your many accomplishments.

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  40. I have your blog bookmarked and visit it at least 3-4 a week. I was truly impressed with your post. It reminds us bloggers that we are humans, struggling through life, despite a Wednesday or any other day wish list. While I love lots of materialistic things, I love most that I am alive and healthy after a near-death car accident and that I have a wonderful daughter and partner. I am lazy as well, I have anemia like you (that is the reason you are so exhausted all the time). I have chronic anemia which means my iron gets depleted fast - my mother has it as well. You should check your iron with a doctor. After I had my daughter, my exhaustion has almost disappeared but my iron levels are still low. As to what other bloggers wear and buy and own, that is their business. I was envious of them as well until I realized that I want to use that energy towards something worthier. Ever wonder whether their credit cards are maxed and they are way up their ears in debt ? I recommend you to see the movie "Confessions of a shopaholic". Instead of staying up late to blog, save it for the weekend. I try to keep my posts as simple as possible. Keep up the good work ! Love your blog ! Go see a doctor about your anemia. Hugs from Norway !

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  41. Hey Lauren! I loved meeting you in LA and love you even more now. I can tell you, you just gave me a gift. I beat myself up for needing rest, feeling lazy and having a poor self image. But now I know I am not alone. I, like you, turn to Christ for strength. Thank you for your honesty - I think you are just fabulous :)

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  42. wow - i've read a couple of these, and i'm relatively new to blogging myself, but i love your honesty. i follow your blog, love your posts...and you shoudl be proud of how amazing your little space on the net is!

    www.apuravida.com

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  43. Lauren! I envy the success YOU have!!! I love these posts because they do humanize all of us.. but it is also so crazy to learn that you feel like your blog could be a lot better. I really really love your blog and think you so an awesome job. I have also recently been spending way less time on my blog/commenting on other blogs. I use to do it in the morning at work, but my boss goes through our history (awesome, right?) and told me I spend too much time on it, so I can't do it any more! And I have seen a MAJOR drop in comments and views. It totally makes me sad. But at the same time, I have to put my career first, as well as my home life (my bf and dog would probably hate me if i sat home all night on my computer). I understand your struggle. So glad you shared! PS can anyone afford the things we post on our blogs? LOL. You still look fabulous even if you shop on a budget, which I totally do too :)

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  44. This is an incredible post. So raw, so real. I appreciate this honesty so much and so want to participate...but I am afraid that it may not be read/commented on... you see, I struggle with that as well. I go in waves - I build up my blog, am super active in commenting on / reading other blogs and therefore receive more recognition...but, then life gets crazy {especially now & will continue to be until after I am married} and my blogging is fewer & further in between. It's a bit like self sabotage. But you are right... what is more important? This or your health & well being? I choose the latter. Besides, forcing creativity is never any fun. Anyhow, got off on a tangent...but wanted to let you know that i absolutely relate. You are doing a fabulous job here though and you should not be so hard on yourself...you are very loved and your blog is as well :) XO brynn

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  45. Great post! I am especially grateful that you shared your struggles with eating disorders. Having had been anorexic myself, I completely understand how much of a struggle it can be. Even after years of healthy eating, I still have to fight to urge to skip meals now that I am at the heaviest I've ever been in my life (and finally at an actual healthy weight).

    It can be so hard for me, an avid blog-reader, to see such beautiful women with their perfect thin legs (thin everything!), wearing a $300 sundress, without wanting to revert to my old, unhealthy habits. It's inspiring to me that you struggle with this as well. It's even more inspiring that you would take the time and share with us, your devoted readers, that you're human too.

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  46. Thank you taking a risk and sharing this!!

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  47. Lauren, thank you for sharing you should be really proud of yourself for opening up and just being honest about the real struggles we all face!! It shows your authentic beauty! You do such a wonderful job with your blog keep it up! I can totally relate about what you said about the whole materialism quote. Being a Christian girl myself and working in the fashion industry it seems so contradictory to my beliefs. But it's not all me. I love that God created us all different and unique in our own ways and in that I feel at peace with what I do. I know as long as I don't get wrapped up in all the superficialness then it's all good!! I just wanted to share these little tidbits and hope you feel inspired and encouraged! You have a sister in Christ praying for you and I know you are on your way to greatness!! Blessings xo-Eunice www.euniceglam.com

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  48. This is an amazing post Lauren and your so courageous for posting this. I love how raw and relate-able this is, it truly shows the normal life of someone wearing so many hats and making it all happen! As one of your newest followers I've really enjoyed reading your blog and your doing an amazing job! Your gorgeous inside and out!

    xx

    Ashley

    http://www.goldendivine.blogspot.com

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  49. Lauren, your post was incredibly inspiring and totally relatable. What a funny world we live {+ blog!} in but know that you are definitely not along in these feelings. xo

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  50. I completely relate to EVERYTHING you said. Especially the self esteem thing. You are not alone!! I am so inspired by your courage. You are right- blogging should not make your health suffer! You have great things ahead, I'm sure of it, and I am so thankful to have connected with you! :)

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  51. Wow! Your posts really show how unselfish you are with a desire to help others. Your transparency is admirable. God loves you!!!

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  52. I follow your blog religiously and I just wanted you to know that you are WONDERFUL! Stick with it and things will continue to get better :) Thanks for sharing, us non-bloggers can make bloggers into mythical creatures but we need to realize that y'all are people too :)

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  53. Lauren - I am right there with you on the brokeness and the weight issues. I've been struggling with my weight for so long that I'm a serial dieter, it's practically like a hobby at this point. "What can I try that will really stick this time?!" It's an up and down cycle of ridiculousness.

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  54. Seriously great post! I hope you know that you are not alone on any of these topics and we're all afraid to say it! Thanks for sharing!

    XOXO,
    Kristen
    fashionfate.blogspot.com

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  55. Hi Lauren,

    This is my first time visiting your blog. I read about you in LA Weekly. I absolutely loved this post. It was so honest. I love that you love Christ, that is beautiful. I can relate to you on many of the things you mentioned. Keep writing. You are an inspiration.

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  56. I love reading this post, Lauren! It's not easy to admit our flaws but you did a wonderful job here being transparent about yourself. Keep up the good work, sista!

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  57. lauren, what a lovely post. first of all, i think we are the same person. if i'd written one of these posts, it would be nearly identical. second of all, and my mom says this all the time, but i sometimes wish we could see ourselves through others' eyes. i have recently begun following your blog/instagram/twitter and i would never had guessed any of these things. you're beautiful and stylish and i find myself being jealous of you. if anything, your post reminded me to not be so hard on myself. and that goes for you too, missy! i hope your summer is wonderful and full of blogging. i'll be reading!
    xoxo, chelsea
    bloomingbranch.blogspot.com

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  58. Thank you so much for sharing that! Such a blessing. That really made my day and inspired me not to take things so serious and to realize that God is beyond these fickle things we hold so dearly or strive to obtain so much especially in this day in age. So thank you for making me feel normal today! You arent alone :)

    P.s.
    Always, remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

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  59. I loved this post because I automatically related. I just recently started blogging, at first I told myself it wasn't about followers or readership and that it was a hobby I enjoyed to do on my down time. The more I get into the blogging world the more I realize that EVERYONE does it, and there is so much "competition" in my little world of hobbies. I admire/envy blogs like yours! Keep it up!!!! :-)

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  60. I so needed this post right now. Comparison is the ugliest things in blogging. I constantly compare myself to everyone else, I worry that I'm not doing enough, that they're doing more, better, etc. I refuse to do outfit shoots because I am so unbelievably self-conscious. I work on my blog until 1am every night, and I never feel it's enough. It's so nice to hear it from other bloggers, to hear I'm not crazy or alone. Also, sorry for rambling - you have to take care of yourself. I got sick last year and I finally realized I needed to go to the doctor, take care of myself, get on track. I'm so glad that I did. And by the way, you're beautiful (sometimes you just need to hear it)!
    ♡ Lexi
    FASHION: Glitter & Pearls
    WEDDINGS: Glitter Weddings

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  61. OMG you remind me of myself ! You are now my favorite blogger for keeping it so real!

    - Buzygurl
    www.livelovehustle.com
    www.endlessnoisenyc.com

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  62. Thank you for sharing, I can definitely relate to every single one of these "confessions". Sometimes I have to take a few steps back, take a deep breath and remind myself that my blog is a place for me to share my passion for dressing up and fashion and that I can't beat myself up or compare myself to other bloggers. Making time for me, my loved ones, and to live life is too important to neglect. :)

    xo www.RavingFashionista.com

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  63. I just found your blog (through the black hole of clicking pretty things on the internet) and I'm really glad I browsed enough to get to this post. I'm a full time musician, but started blogging recently as a way to connect more deeply with people even though we live mostly on the road, and it's caused me to think through so many of the things you addressed. I also struggled with an eating disorder in college and working through all that was such a pivotal point in my faith. Just wanted to say that I'm enjoying browsing through your older posts and I'm glad I found you! So many girls are in the same boat, we just don't always take the courageous step of being vulnerable like you did in this post! Blessings, Jessa

    http://jessaanderson.com

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  64. You go girl for putting this out there, must feel so liberating! I have also been dealing with weight issues for as long as I can remember, it is very hard to get to a point to just be happy with who and what you are and go from there. And girl I think we are ALL jealous of the bloggers who can afford expensive clothes on a regular basis (that is partly why it has taken me so long to finally start blogging, I don't want people to judge me for repeat pieces and not having the highest ticket price items)!!

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  65. I so appreciate your honesty! I am just starting my own blog and wonder about so many of the things you talked about here. I love number one because I can't buy so many of the things I want to either - it's just not realistic! I also appreciate number six. I love fashion, but fashion and clothing is only temporary!

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  66. Lauren,
    I never got to see this and although its months later, when I saw it pop up on your sidebar I knew I had to read and write. I participated in the first wave and it was wonderful to admit your shortcomings and be honest with myself.
    A few things to reassure you:)...
    1) Where do fashion bloggers get all the dough? I dunno, but I can only dream of owning a celine bag or dvf dress. This is why I love following bloggers who can get creative with their wardrobe and are able to be stylish without being too trendy. You my dear are one of them.
    2) I always think to myself how stunning you truly are. For realz! You are a classic Grace Kelly beauty. I actually used to have more curves, which I miss. My metabolism went whack after having kids and its tough for me to keep weight on. I think curves are much more naturally beautiful than stick then as the media would have us believe.
    3) I am with you on materialism. That is actually why I don't read a lot of fashion blogs anymore. I want to be grateful for what I have and focus on what is eternal. Loved your quote:)

    So...big hug your way. You are awesome:)
    Anna

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  67. This is so amazing and so inspiring. I just came across your blog today and decided to follow and Im glad I did because otherwise I never wou,d have read this post. I struggle with a lot of things you do like self-esteem and not being able to afford all of the things I want. And I have been blogging on and off since 2009 and barely have followers or get comments so I know how discouraging it can be ( hence the off). Anyways, you're beautiful and amazing and keep doing what you're doing!

    Xo,
    Vanessa www.stylebeautysole-Vanessa.blogspot.com

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Thanks so much for commenting! It truly makes my day :)

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