So first off, I have to say BRAVO! to every single blogger who has participated in this movement, and am so happy and grateful for
Jess and for
Ez for giving us bloggers a chance to see that we are not alone. I have only had the chance to read through some
Things I'm Afraid to Tell You posts (can't wait to read them all once I am out of school!), and I was so shocked to see women I admire so much, have the same thoughts and feelings as I do. Such an amazing sight to see. I of course had to jump on the band wagon, so here are my
Things I'm Afraid to Tell You.
Warning: It's about to get personal.
1) I almost never buy what is on my Wednesday Wishlist posts. Just because I post all of these pretty things that I want, doesn't mean I actually ever buy them. See #2.
2) I am completely broke. Which is why I cannot buy what is on my Wednesday Wishlists. I am a full-time college student, and I work at the hospital only two days a week. Obviously, not enough pay to afford my taste. Most often, I have less than $100 in the bank. I envy other fashion bloggers who can actually afford a pair of Current Elliott Jeans or an Equipment blouse. I would need to save up 2-3 pay checks to afford one of them.
3) I am utterly exhausted 85% of the time. I really think I have something wrong with me. Like, medically. I am tired almost all of the time. It is very rare for me to have loads of energy all day long. That is why me and coffee are BFFs. But really, coffee doesn't even really do anything for me. I also tend to get really overwhelmed. I look at other people who do WAY more then me and wonder why I cannot have their energy. If I do not get at least 8 hours of sleep each night, I will get sick and won't be able to function. So, when there are days when I have no blog post, this is why. See #4.
4) Sometimes I wonder if blogging is really worth my health and sleep. As all of us bloggers know, running a successful blog is a full-time job. It isn't just creating a blog post, but also reading other blogger's posts, commenting on their posts, tweeting, instagramming, pinteresting, and trying our best to respond to emails. I think I have maybe over 4 months of emails that I have yet to respond to. Which gives me incredible anxiety. Some times I wonder if it is really worth it. I will be gone at work all day, have classes, meetings, and homework to do, that at the end of the night (which is usually 11:00pm) the last thing I want to do is create a blog post! I used to NEVER go a day during the week without doing a blog post. But, I have finally realized that my health and my sleep is more important.
5) I have low self-esteem. Okay, so I have never shared this on the blog with you all, or really everyone for that matter, but here it goes. Growing up, I was always overweight. In middle school, I was constantly called the fat girl with "the pretty face". As you can imagine, this stuck with me. Before entering high school, I decided to lose weight, so by the end of my freshman year I had lost 60 lbs. This weight loss and new attention that I was receiving, caused me to spiral into a pretty gnarly eating disorder. My sophomore year I suffered from Anorexia, totaling in at 103 lbs. By my junior year, I developed Bulimia. With lots of counseling, and coming to Christ, I was able to overcome my eating disorder. But, to this day, it is a battle that I continuously fight and will fight probably for the rest of my life.
6) Materialism bothers me. Yeah, this seems pretty darn contradictory huh? Yeah, it is. My blog is a fashion blog in which I post about pretty things, 24/7. As you know, I love fashion, but it is definitely not my world. and certainly not all that I am. This verse says it all: The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever. ~ Isaiah 40:8
7) I can be incredibly lazy sometimes. This is one trait about myself, that I am not too fond of. For example, I will go a month without picking the clothes up off of my floor. Ugh, did I really just tell you this?
8) I envy other bloggers. I look at other bloggers who have - way more time than me to invest into their blogs, are skinnier than I am and look better in clothing, are incredibly successful, are able to afford a new outfit for every day of the week - and get jealous.
9) No comments make me depressed. As stated before, I haven't had as much of time as I used to to invest into my blog. I used to comment on over 50 blogs a day, and now I comment on maybe 2-3. I so wish that the day allowed more time! But sadly, it doesn't. I used to receive a lot more comments than I do now, and sometimes it really gets me down. I mean, it's frustrating when I sacrifice my sleep to stay up late creating a post, and I receive barely any comments. Now, please, don't get me wrong. I started blogging because of my love for it and being able to express my creativity, not just to receive praise. And by no means am I telling you all to start leaving me comments! Lol. I know I have talked to some other people about this too, and they seem to feel the same. So I think I am not alone with this - right?
10) I struggle with how much I should share on this blog. For example, this post. I may or may not regret writing this. We will see. On my blog, I try to keep it more professional and editorial like, but also incorporate some tidbits of my life. I figure I want this blog to be a place people come to to get inspired, not to get dragged down by my life happenings. But I don't know. It's a tough situation, because my favorite blogs are ones that share a lot about their lives. I love when people are real and I feel like I know them. I wonder if my readers feel like they know me? Do you?
Well ya'll, that wraps up my Things I'm Afraid to Tell You. There is definitely way more about me and my life that I could share, but I suppose I will leave that for another blogger movement :)
Here are the amazing bloggers who have participated...
